guilty pleasure monday: let’s hear it for the boy (deniece williams)

because he’s a hellboy, but he’s OUR hellboy!

i remember when i was a young mom with a little girl who looked like a precious moments figurine and who behaved pretty damn well, no matter what situation.  i attributed it all to our complete preparation: crayons? check. distracting toys? check. never-ending stash of cheerios? check! i read my books and i was on top of things. but of course, all of her model behavior was simply because we were such awesome parents.

of course.

anyway, BC was about 18 months old when we took a trip to visit my dear friend wah and her family in wisconsin.  wah and i have been friends since we were teenagers; i love the fact that we have been friends so long, we don’t need to sugarcoat anything. this is a girl who will tell you that your butt looks big in that outfit. of course, she will also give you ideas about something else to wear. no malice, just truth with a dose of warmth.

for this and for so many other reasons, i love this chick with all my heart.

anyway, we went to visit wah’s family on two occasions and had a great time with them. but i still remember the first trip. we visited a noodles and co for dinner — my first — and sat down, our family and hers. wah has two wonderful boys, and at the time, i think they were probably about 2 and 4, though i could be wildly wrong. we sat down to wait to be served. i say we, but i mean BS, BC, and me. BC was perched daintily on her booster seat, coloring with crayons and smiling like a little angel girl.  cue smugness here: my, but once again, aren’t we such awesome parents?

wah’s boys, on the other hand, were happily racing around the table, playfully shouting, and basically, not sitting still. i must have looked over with that face with which i am now so familiar — the why can’t you control your child face. the i’m a superior parent face. i. can. make. my. child. sit. still. i. do. it. with. sheer. will. and preparation. why can’t you?

wah caught me. she shook her head, and she said words i never forgot:

wait til you have a boy.


fast forward a few years. i do have a boy; and while he doesn’t run around in restaurants, i can see the lesson she was trying to teach me: different children are built differently. you don’t have to be a piaget or steiner devotee to know this: you need only be a parent who is wise to the ways of her kids. each child is wired differently, and it doesn’t make much of a difference whether you’ve read up on child development or whether you go with your gut. the truth is, different children require different approaches.

and different children should be appreciated for the gifts they are.

so today, here’s one for my boy.  my energetic, spirited, rockin’ little jools.

my beautiful boy.


3 Responses to “guilty pleasure monday: let’s hear it for the boy (deniece williams)”

  1. Paul Murphy Says:

    I was totally a li’l angel, beloved by all. My older brother, on the other hand, was a monster. This is totally the truth. You can ask anybody.

    Seriously, I have noticed that when my friends become parents, certain parts of their brains stop functioning, like the parts that would normally stop them from picking up and eating wet Cheerios that have fallen on the floor, and the parts that would allow them to change a diaper IN A RESTAURANT. I suppose it’s necessary for the continuation of the species, but jeeze. If it leads to that kind of behavior, is our continued existence really worth it? Leave it to the roaches, I say!

  2. oh dude, i have not lost my senses. in fact, i make fun of such people regularly. i shall have to do so on my blog. on the other hand, i have had my comeuppance. i was a snot once. no more. well, not more on the parental front, anyway. in other fronts… well, i yam what i yam 😉

  3. It took us a long time before we even went to a restaurant with our babes. If we did have to change a diaper, we did it in a restroom – on a changing table. (Because we went to a simple family-type restaurant where people would *understand* baby sounds because there were other babies there.) We were always conscious of noises and messes; we STILL are. (They just turned 9!) Manners are *required.*(Goofiness is optional.) When our kids are winding down, we excuse ourselves and go. As it has turned out, they have turned into quite the hostess twinkies as they like both entertaining and being entertained.

    As a result, we have friends who have no plans to have kids — and they tell us that going to dinner with us and our children is a pleasure.

    But — we prepare them for the event, come armed with entertainment if necessary, and keep the event to a nice length. We also do no-kid dinners which are niiiiiiice. But the events with the kids are nice, too.

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