i’m so tired

so i’ve just returned from something called a sleep study. i haven’t been sleeping well for awhile — and not just because there are little people who occasionally wake me up at night over a nightmare or feeling barfy. i don’t quite breathe right, and every morning, i don’t exactly wake up fresh as a daisy, so to speak. my pulmonologist decided i might have sleep apnea and sent me to get a sleep study. in theory, this might be the easiest test you ever take. in reality, perhaps not so much.

our sleep center happens to be located in our local hospital — yes, the same one where i not only had two babies but also spent two weeks searching for my dear departed platelets. jools was soothed enough when i told him that they would send me home by 6 am (the same time he wakes up), but BC was completely wigged out. seems that the girl remembers my history of going to the hospital to check something out and then getting locked up there for awhile. in short, she was afraid.

it’s very difficult to be ill as a parent. it’s hard enough to be ill, of course; but when you’re a parent, there are other people who are younger and more sensitive to think about. it destroys me to know that my daughter will forever be freaked out whenever i go to a hospital, even for the most benign reasons (such as a sleep study.) we had sturm; we had drang; we had a lot of tears.  but the time came, and i had to leave my girl, sobbing in her daddy’s arms.

to be honest, i wasn’t exactly enjoying the idea of spending a night in the hospital. i had to check in through the Emergency Room registration, as regular registration is closed at 8:45 pm.   i dread ERs simply because i do not want to catch whatever the hell is in there. luckily, then, they speedily send you to sit in the main lobby and wait for the sleep team. as i am friend to the friendless, i ended up talking with a hospital employee who was sitting and waiting for someone. we talked about how his night-shift work was destroying his life and himself. (yeah, i have that affect on people. i have missed my calling as a talk show host.)

eventually, the sleep team came and escorted me and two men up to our expensive hotel rooms our rooms, which had bathrooms with showers. oddly enough, no complimentary soap. i filled out some forms, had electrodes placed all over me, and learned about the cpap machine (in case they needed to use one on me in the night, they didn’t want me to be freaked out by someone putting as mask over my face while i was in a dream state.) who knew that there is a mask simply for women? (i was told that as women age, our heads get bigger but our noses shrink. that’s one for the books.)

and then, nighty-night time. on the bright side, the hospital now has regular TV remotes instead of the huge thingies that don’t let you do anything but move a channel forward. however, i was so tired, i just turned it off after 5 minutes of la grande illusion and tried to sleep.

try would be the operative word. i tossed. i turned. i couldn’t get comfy all wired up. oh, and i was afraid i would have to wake up and hit the loo, which would mean that the lady who helped me would have to actually come in, unwrap me from my cords, and take me to the bathroom. no thanks. i think i slept a tiny bit, but most of my night i recall being awake.

so i’m not entirely sure what they’ll study.


6 Responses to “i’m so tired”

  1. Sorry you’re not sleeping well. Hope they figure something out. And I can’t shake the image of me walking around as a 100 year old lady with an enormous head and almost no nose. Awesome.

  2. Your poor baby! I hope she’s all settled now. Hooray for comforting daddies!! I can’t imagine how “they” get reliable data at sleep studies as most people can’t possibly sleep much at them. I do hope they get some data to help you from it.

    Big head, small nose. Creeeepy.

  3. Big Ugly Man Doll Says:

    Glad you got through it; sounds like they didn’t wake you for the mask? You’d remember. I have a post from a while ago about my study, sleep, no, she did not go so well. The most vivid memory is still the lady throwing lights on, strapping the mask over my head, and saying “OK, just go back to sleep!”
    Yeah right. You mention “they didn’t want me to be freaked out by someone putting as mask over my face while i was in a dream state” – my crew had no such compunction, and I had no idea what was coming. Took me an hour to fall asleep with the thing straped to my head. (Of course, these days I can put it on and conk out in about 2 minutes.)
    Glad you made it back this time!

  4. nope; i never ended up with the mask; not entirely sure why, but i guess that’s what i’ll learn when i end up talking with the doctor, i guess.

    i must admit, the staff was all-around nice. except for the one nurse who didn’t listen to me when i told her i should premedicate with benadryl before trying IViG (and then i promptly went into convulsions), i have been very pleased with all my interactions at VA Hospital Center (aka Arlington Hospital.)

  5. I’ve had this study done twice. THe first time didn’t even register REM sleep.

    Hope you got some rest, and that whatever they find (if they must find something) is minimal and helps the sleep patterns.

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