blatantly bad 70s songs: afternoon delight (starland vocal band)

everyone together: skyrockets in flight! afternoon delight!

the big mamajama. ’cause i couldn’t ignore it, now, could i.

this one perpetually tops worst 70s songs lists, running neck and neck with (you’re) having my baby. and you really have a DC-area restaurant chain, Clyde’s, to blame for this one:

According to an account in Rolling Stone, Taffy credited the song’s creation to a culinary repast. “Bill wrote this after having lunch at Clyde’s in Washington, D.C.,” she explained to an audience before performing the song. “It seems Clyde’s has a menu called ‘Afternoon Delight’ with stuff like spiced shrimp and hot Brie with almonds. So Bill ate it — the food, that is — and went home and explained to me what ‘Afternoon Delight’ should be.”

yeah. i always think of stuffed shrimp when i hear this one.

i always marvel at americans. they get up in arms, self-righteously apeshit about sex. yet who are the homophobes you witness waving their arms at football games in time to YMCA? and who do you see singing afternoon delight with their kids when the song is about enjoying a nooner with the missus?

and they somehow even didn’t blink when, after this single hit skyrocketed in flight to the top of the charts, the starland vocal band got their own TV show featuring a new and corny comedian named david letterman. captain and tennille at least had a few hits — but this group literally had one! one lousy countrified bit of schlock chockablock with benny hill-worthy hints about naughtiness. nudge nudge, wink wink. pullllease.

corny, corny, corny. i knew it then, and i know it know. i think we were so preoccupied with the nation’s bicentennial that we let this one slip into the top spot of the charts.


it being the last day of november, i am freeing you all — fly, be FREE! — from the curse of blatantly bad 70s songs. for now, of course. you never know when one will show up on a guilty pleasure monday. (i don’t always have great taste, you know.) who knows : maybe i’ll do a month of guilty pleasure mondays that will make people vomit or weep with joy. (or both? it could happen.) thanks to all for joining me on this journey to ear-bleeding nirvana and for sharing your candidates. special thanks to middlebro and leifer for their contributions. i can share their addresses if you’d like to send hate mail.

may the force be with you. or, as one of my favorite TV characters said in the 70s, nanoo, nanoo.


7 Responses to “blatantly bad 70s songs: afternoon delight (starland vocal band)”

  1. Awww… it’s over so soon?

  2. we’ll always have guilty pleasure mondays πŸ˜‰

  3. it’s been like a living history lesson πŸ™‚

  4. Thank gawd! Free to read wreke again without fear of headaches and vomit.

    Your comment about uptight Americans and the songs they enjoy DID just about make up for it all though. SO DAMN TRUE!

    Of course, I fully enjoy singing right along to AC/DC’s Big Balls with my 12 year old son. Oh yeah, mother of the year πŸ˜‰

  5. Wreke~ YOU ARE MY HERO!! Posting every day, through the month you’ve had, with your lovely wit!! YOU RAWK MAMA!!

    Now, go take a nap. You can snooooooze away listening to some Van Halen. πŸ™‚

  6. Oh my word, just got done catching up with your 30 days of sheer frickin’ GENIUS, and now my brain is lousy with earworms.

    I marvel that Melody’s “I’ve Got A Pair of Brand New Rollerskates, You’ve Got the ??? Key” somehow didn’t make this list. Or disco diva Anita What’sherface singing “You Can Ring My Bell” (which has all the pleasure of a car alarm endlessly sounding).

    But I figure it’s due to the tsunami of crud churned out in the ’70s.

    “Muskrat Love,” people? So brilliantly bad, it’s awesome.

  7. Sticking spiced shrimp and nuts in hot brie is what romance is all about. Now, gimme a towel and a cigarette.

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