blatantly bad 70s music: muskrat love (captain and tennille)

if this kind of love will keep the captain and toni tennille together, then someone had better call PETA.

muskrat susie, muskrat sam, do the jitterbug with some purloined ham. i guess dancing rats are less magical than some muskrats jamming to glenn miller. i mean, when i think of romance, i always think that muskrats truly capture the imagination in a way that, well, gerbils just cannot.

[note to any gerbils out there: don’t flame me. and while you’re at it, leave richard gere alone, too, you furry little bastards.]

in all fairness, captain and tennille didn’t write this mellow song about romantic rodents; they, like their soft rock compadres america were merely covering a song written in 1972 by whatcha talkin’ bout willis alan ramsey (the original title: muskrat candlelight. no. not making that one up, either.) as an english major, i am compelled to find the metaphorical meaning in everything. however, i am sad to report that this song is actually about muskrats in love. and no, it apparently was not written for a cute little cartoon, either.

we may never know what inspired this song. i don’t want to think too hard about it myself. i think it could be too disturbing.

but one does wonder: with all the choices out there to cover, why on EARTH did they choose this one? with their connections to the beach boys, to elton john, to pink freakin’ floyd for cryin’ out loud, why did they choose this clunker? and what did the american public find it so charming?

my fellow americans, i think there must be some scary-ass people out there.


5 Responses to “blatantly bad 70s music: muskrat love (captain and tennille)”

  1. Video not working. Don’t deprive me of some rockin’, hip 70s music!

  2. Hey, this was one I put in the suggestion box. Let’s give it a big ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww together.

  3. Ah, dangnabbit, the video doesn’t work. I did manage to find a woman singing the song with her guinea pig. (It wasn’t a duet, mind you.)

    But this still cracked me up. Especially the bit about the purloined ham.

  4. […] lizards in the air above ventura highway. and lest we forget their deep cover of muskrat love, a song that makes me hurl, no matter who sings […]

  5. I too was an English major, and I was hoping to find someone with a metaphorical explanation for this song. Unfortunately, everyone who posts about it seems to think it is literal. Well, that is even worse! Two muskrats have recently moved into our neighborhood pool area and have seemingly been joined by a third. If “Sam is so skinny” he is either A. NOT a muskrat, or B. NOT doing the jitterbug, but convulsing in death throws. When I observe these creatures (which I must admit are quite cute and do look like big guinea pigs with unfortunate tails) I do not think of whirling and twirling and enjoying the Tango! I do think, “Hey look at that li’l fat fellar doin’ a belly flop!” I really think the writers of the song A. had never seen a muskrat B. had his or her animals sadly and drastically confused or C. both. In conclusion, I’m not offended so much by the sappiness of the song, but by the extremely inaccurate information it perpetuates about muskrats.

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