blatantly bad 70s songs: float on (the floaters)

bet you thought i was going to talk about modest mouse. psyche!

one-hit wonders the floaters enjoyed the sweet smell of success with float on, a song that came to singer james mitchell in a dream. you know, lots of things come to me in dreams, but you don’t see me inflicting that crap on anyone other than my husband, now, do you?

does anyone else think the song sounds like it could be background music in a porno?

anyway, lucky us, we got the chance to familiarize ourselves with each member of the group — and their astrology. i especially loved to make fun of my brother, who shares the name with the last singing member of that group:

Cancer and my name is Larry, huh
And I like a woman
That loves everything and everybody
Because I love everybody and everything
And you know what, ladies,
If you feel that this is you
Then this is what I want you to do

yeah, i see the big gold necklace, too.

tell me, what woman in her right mind would want to hook up with a guy who talks about astrology? where i come from, that sets off your gaydar, or at least an alan alda alert. hmph. a man who loves everybody and everything? does that include animals?

please.

pisces. and my name is wrekehavoc

and i think any man who writes a song like this

should be forced to listen to it forever

while tied up in a cigar box.

and you know what, gentlemen?

if you feel this is you,

then you need serious professional help.

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6 Responses to “blatantly bad 70s songs: float on (the floaters)”

  1. Wow… I’m happy to say that this isn’t a song I would have listened to on my sappiest teen day.

  2. Wow how about those pants! *choke*

  3. but zodiac signs were useful for ’70s pickups. how many sitcoms from the era include “what’s your sign?” as a pickup line? even zappa’s “dancing fool” incorporates it.

    this song cracks me up. without fail. especially the part about the woman who “carries herself like…miss universe.” i wish modest mouse really would cover it.

  4. THAT cover would be sweeeeeeet.

  5. Oh, that made me cringe right from the first 30 seconds. (If I even made it that far into the video.)

    I love your addition to the lyrics. You are a funny woman.

  6. Never ever heard of this one. Frankly, after watching “The Jacksons” choreography in red leather pants tucked into boots, I was done.

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