blatantly bad 70s music: dreamweaver (gary wright)

ah, you young, misguided people born in the 1980s and beyond. you can’t imagine a world where phones have cords, where if you missed a television show, you missed it (thanks to no recording devices), where records played on record players with needles.

and you think dreamweaver is a song from wayne’s world.

i can’t begin to explain why on earth i loathe this song. but i’ll try. it could be the freaky, masturbatory overuse of synthesizers? (oh, are those sounds of nature i hear? stars colliding? unicorns chasing rainbows? dung beetles rolling around in dung?) is it the cryptic nature of the lyrics? i mean, why would a dreamweaver drive a train? was he a sub for casey jones? and how the hell does he make it to an astral plain?

wow. if i were a boomer, i’d be wildly embarrassed if i wrote poetry too awful for a high school creative writing magazine, with flowy, clichee-ridden phrases perhaps inspired by smoking marijuana — pot i’d point out which had potency of bongwater compared with the stuff the boomers’ kids are toking these days.

ah well. the song does remain with you for days. years. sometimes, it comes out at the weirdest moments. f’rinstance, eight years ago, we remodelled our house. the poor, beleagured project manager of the goat rodeo was a man named dave weaver. one day, BS pointed out something i had to bring up to dave, something that needed remediation. i don’t know what possessed me: the spirit of gary white? the exhaustion of being a mom to a non-sleeping one year old? the fact that i was on major percocet thanks to shingles?

but i looked at BS, and i burst into song:

oh-hhh, DAVE WEAVER, i believe you can fix my kitchen si-ink!

i think it was at that point that BS thought it best that he do all the communicating with the remodelling team.

i’m telling you, people. friends do not let friends listen to dreamweaver. (which i suppose means that i’m a crappy friend now that i’ve provided it to you. you’re welcome.)

13 Responses to “blatantly bad 70s music: dreamweaver (gary wright)”

  1. Oh, I SO agree with you about all of it! The cheesy lyrics, the oversynthed sound — all of it. Except for one tiny detail: I LOVE that song. For reasons which have absolutely nothing to do with pot or any drugs whatsoever. If I had to guess, I’d say this came out in 1977, when I turned 12, and I was still a few years yet from a stealth Bartles & Jaymes back then. No, it simply appeals to me. I’m mortified, and I hope the rest of the month I can fully agree with you, because otherwise? I’ll have to go back under a rock and die of embarrassment.

  2. fret not, foolery. one person’s crap is another person’s treasure. when you mentioned olivia newton john earlier, i thought of one of my guilty pleasures: i honestly love you.

    ::ducking now::

  3. So much potential with the baseline. I admit I liked the song as a young teen.

    As for Olivia Newton John, I had a wicked crush on her when I was 12.

  4. I’ll take sappy rhyming lyrics over a$$hole singers TALKING through the whole freaking song. God, I hate that crap. I blame Sting. He started it. Then there’s the whole coochie-begging style that John Mayer and Usher have down to a t. Yeah, yeah, she so fine, you’d eat the corn out her dookie. I GET IT.

    And really, it’s hard to top “Sweet City Woman:” banjos, scat singing, FRENCH. It’s got it all.

  5. I agree with everything you say about this song, Sher. However, I have to admit that I like this song. I have this weird thing about songs – I love many whose lyrics (and sometimes even music) I totally despise. Sometimes it’s just the right combo of music and words (regardless of content).

    And I still have a crush on Olivia.

  6. could not turn sound off fast enough – now I will be singing this all day

  7. Guilty pleasure, love this song. Turn it up in the car and inflict on small children.

  8. Well now, you started out with a song from my childhood by a person who I actually KNOW!! Yep, I know Gary Wright. I got to hear him sing this song while playing the piano once a year on New Years Eve in Hollywood. He attended the same church my parents did. Yes, it is the typical LA new agey religion you would attribute to us flaky So Cal folks. Meditation and karma and reincarnation. And because we had mutual friends who invited us every year to this party, we would get to hear this song. In fact the first time I heard it was as the live piano version. When I finally heard it for the first time on the radio with all the synthesizer stuff, it was so weird to me. All wrong. As a piano tune? Not so bad.
    So yes please, play me some Dream Weaver..I will happily hum along with it and think back to when I was 10 watching him sing it at a party. Not so bad really.

  9. coooooooooooooool!!!! great story, christina!!!!!!!!!

  10. I loved Dream Weaver. Yes…the cheese factor is high, but it was extremely catchy and I really liked his voice (for some reason). His other song from that record “My Love is Alive” was good,
    too. The rest of the album pretty much bit though.

  11. I hear you on this one. I agree, possibly the worst song ever written. Defiantly in the top three. You nailed its inanity perfectly. Well done!

  12. Gary White Says:

    Gary Wright. not white

  13. There is a nice deviation on this story, some American factory ordered some parts from Japanese factory and stipulated that the defect rate should be no more than five in every 100 . The Japanese sent the Americans two boxes, one with 95 parts in pristine condition and another box with a load of rusty old spanners. Who says the Japanese have no sense of humour?

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