mother

today is my mom’s birthday. she is 29 39 old enough to know that she can’t be at an age that is younger than i am. but she is often a lot more light-hearted and younger acting than i will ever be.

i’ve learned a ton about being a parent from my mother. letting kids get messy. listening to your kids and trusting them. loving your kids no matter what. realizations like the fact that it isn’t the quantity of time you spend together; it is the quality.

i’ve also learned that there are moments in life where you need to suck it up and smile in front of your children. my mother battled — and beat — breast cancer twice, both times while i was a teenager. and even though she was probably in plenty of physical and mental pain, she kept it together, at least when i was around, because she knew i probably couldn’t handle her falling apart, too. now, of course, i would have a different perspective and a lot more empathy; but at age 15, the prospect of your world falling apart is just too much to bear. it’s all about you when you’re a kid.

and that’s why, when i became seriously ill, i tried my very best to keep it together in front of my kids. i don’t know that i always did; and there are times now when i get all teary-eyed thinking about the prospect that i might not always be there for my kids. but then, i stop, and i think about what my mom would do, and i take a deep breath. tears sometimes still leak stealthily out, but mostly, i keep it together. because my children need to think that nothing’s going to change their world. and i’ll do everything in my power to make that so.

i’m proud to say that my mom has been a breast cancer survivor for 28 years on one side and 25 years on the other, and she’s still a colossal pain in my ass. and i wouldn’t want it any other way.

happy birthday to one of the two best parents in the entire parent universe. i know you’re always in my corner, no matter what. i love you, mom.

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6 Responses to “mother”

  1. Happy Birthday to Wrekehavok’s mom! She is an inspiration to all parents!

  2. Thanks I love you too

  3. Happy Birthday Wreke-mom!

  4. Oh, your mom sounds divine, wreke. Happy Birthday to her.

    And, way to kick cancer’s butt.

  5. Just joining in to wish wreke’s mom a happy birthday. What a woman!

  6. ah, sniff. warms me heart.

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