building the perfect beast

kids ask questions. lots of questions. perennial favorites include:

  • where do babies come from?
  • why do i have to go to school?
  • where is jimmy hoffa?

add a new one to the list: why are your boobs bigger/tummy flatter/nose smaller?

lucky for our children, there is a new book by plastic surgeon michael a. salzhauer called my beautiful mommy. this book will explain why mommy has bandages and why, for a little while, can’t pick up her cosmopolitan without help.

what it doesn’t explain: how mommy will have any credibility once her child grows into puberty and doesn’t like what she sees looking back at her in the mirror: well mommy, you changed your [enter body part/s of choice here] in order to look like Barbie; why can’t i?


6 Responses to “building the perfect beast”

  1. w.o.w. Really? books to explain why mommy is getting plastic surgery? What’s next – books to explain why mommy doesn’t think YOU are perfect as is and just can’t quite love you anyways but really thinks you need a boobjob at 16 so you that you can get into the right sorority at the right college and attract the right man!??!?!

  2. That book makes me more than a little nauseous.

  3. Sorry, I’ll clean that up.

  4. I believe we are starting to devolve.

  5. Kill me if my son wants a boob lift…k? Promise me that??

    OH! And you are no longer an AWARD VIRGIN! I have made one and hereby pop that cherry, er, I mean bestow it upon you. Come see what I made for ya and all my bloggin buds.

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