in your eyes

i’m writing this today because i have to. see, it’s my dad’s birthday, and i have to acknowledge this in print, as he is my most loyal reader. ever.

(hi, dad!)

i’ve written lots about my dad in this thing over the years, enough to make all his poker friends probably needle him if they ever saw this. in short, my dad has given me many, many things over the course of my life. three particular contributions, evident in this blog, are:

1) my love of music;

2) my occasional lefty windmill tilts; and,

3) my eyes.

yes, my eyes. those things you see at the top of the page. dad was probably wearing glasses in utero, (just kidding!) and by third grade, i was wearing them, too for my nearsightedness. i hated my glasses. i hated my glasses SO VERY MUCH. by eighth grade, i beggedbeggedBEGGED to wear contacts, and i did. i never looked back.

…until recently. jools has been digging spiderman comics; only, too bad for me: i can’t decipher the itty-bitty type. sorry, dude, i’d tell him, you’ll have to ask daddy to read tonight.

(actually, this was not necessarily a bad thing. you moms out there understand.)

lately, i’ve noticed that objects seem closer than they really are, and i’m not looking in a side-mirror, either. i’m hating the way BS drives, thinking he’s driving up the ass of the car in front of our’s. how on earth could this be happening to me! i’m only… er… a little over 29 35 39 the rainbow.

so today, i’ve gone and visited the eye doctor. and lookee, lookee:

i need reading glasses.

i can hardly wait to visit whole foods with jools so that he can help me pick out a pair. he’s an expert, as he tried on a zillion pairs of them one time when we were there. mommy, he asked with a rainbow pair perched atop his nose precariously, can i buy this pair?

honey, i replied, you have to be able to read to wear reading glasses.

truth be told, i can barely read a thing at the moment, as my eyes are dilated. (i can barely even see as i type this. i suspect it’s riddled with typos.) i’m awfully proud to tell you that i drove this way. i shopped in trader joe’s this way. i made another lands end return at sear’s this way. and i picked up my clean comforter at la lavanderia this way. i would tell you that i drove the speed limit, but i couldn’t read the sign so well. so i just tried to drive s l o w l y and with traffic.

in short: i can’t see a fucking thing at the moment, and it’s all thanks to you, daddy! so happy birthday!!!


9 Responses to “in your eyes”

  1. Happy Birthday Pops!! He’s gotta be a stand-up guy when you can drop the f-bomb a few words before in the same sentence as you give him a shout-out! 🙂

    As for reading glasses–horrors! Maybe next year when I’m 29 again.

  2. love this – i think my mom’s my most loyal reader, tho – and at least you *have eyes* as they might have said back in the day. There are lots of little girls in this world who… Sorry, that’s in horrible taste. Happy BDay WrekeDad! Thanks for making such a funny kind woman!

  3. Happy Birthday Wreke-dad!!

    My parents read too, but they don’t leave comments – that would just be all TOO technical for them 🙂

    I love my lasik repaired eyes. I still will need reading glasses at some point (I’m 43), but probably not for a lot longer than it would have been otherwise.

    Rainbow rims eh? Sounds divine!

  4. Hi Sher – Just wanted to let you know how proud you father was to be mentioned in your blog I expect to get equal time on my birthday mom

  5. you got it, mom 🙂

    and yay — you aren’t posting as me!!!

  6. Happy Birthday to the father of a 3-time Jeopardy winner! Wahoo! 🙂

    I was thinking about your eyeball header the other day. Are those your eyes from the sultry “See my purple bra through my shirt” photo? Or are those decrepit 40-something year old eyes? 😉

  7. definitely the decrepit ones 😉

  8. Happy Birthday to the WrekeDad!

    I’m another one of those horribly nearsighted folks. At my last visit, my opthamologist actually said that there was a silver lining to my astigmatic, beyond-the-point-where-lasik-could-repair eyes; the changes that typically occur in ones’ 40s may actually IMPROVE my vision! How warped is that?

  9. Happy birthday to your pops! Sorry bout the glasses thing. SUCKS getting older…but hey, Mom & Dad are still older. 😉

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