missing you


mommy is home today without you. i know, i know: it’s tuesday, and tuesday is our day together. but since i didn’t get much done last week with you in my back pocket; and since i have wall-to-wall kids next week (thanks to a teacher workday, a jools-day-tuesday, and a day in the country a trip way out west to visit a pulmonary specialist for your sister), i thought it best that i try to accomplish a thing or two this week. plus, i must confess, i still am not feeling better yet, and yesterday’s IVIG treatment hasn’t yet worked its magic on my upper respiratory infection. it’s not exactly a mommy’s vacation; but i’m hoping i get something done and even get a little rest in between coughs.

so i went to whole foods today, just like you and i always do on tuesdays. i passed through the produce department, something that you always enjoy because you like pointing out all the fruits you find “disgusting” (and the few vegetables that you actually like.) i sauntered through the poultry and meat section, which you always hate because of the smell. next, the health and beauty aisle, where you and i always try out hand cream and decide which ones we like best. (i tried a nonscented one today since you weren’t there to tell me whether it smelled good or not.) i bought pita chips, remembering the fun we had last week making hummus and scooping it up with them. you know, we were together 24/7; and while we didn’t do a ton of consequence, i think we had fun. we even picked up a tiny bit, and you were able to do the cleaning chore you relish: cleaning the toilets. what you lack in thorough details, you make up for with gusto.

dude, i know you are currently abiding your time at school. but i’m missing you right now. somehow, tuesday is a day to hang together; and i realize that our tuesdays are going to be ending come september. tuesday has been a day for me and your sister or a day for me and you since BC was very, very small, and i negotiated a four-day work week for that very purpose. i like our days together.

i like the tempo of the days, the slow-motion, conscious moments we share. we may not be talking of anything of consequence, but we. are. there.

and right now, you aren’t. and i’m sad.

i think i’ll go put on nick jr. while i vacuum and pretend you’re here.

ni hao, kai-lan is just not supposed to bring me to tears.


6 Responses to “missing you”

  1. Awww, I love this post. AND it made me all kinda misty even though my boy’s only a toddler. You nailed it, just how I feel about my little ragamuffins even when they have spent the last week running me ragged. Sweet, sweet reflection. Sigh.

  2. So sweet. Oh, the things that bring tears to my eyes when Sportsboy is off on his summer vacation to Sweden! I completely understand how you feel.

  3. Oh duuuuuude…. *sniff*

  4. notdancingqueen Says:

    Jools, you can come unwrap $25 in coins at my house *anytime*. Love, Auntie Jaxx

  5. It’s a love letter of sorts that one day he will read and cherish. Lucky kid that jools.

  6. AWWWWW! I love this one! Feel better soon or come see the Doctor.

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