dreaming is free

so today starts the day when i am officially trying to eat better, sleep more, and somehow magically become a more patient, calm human being. maybe not in that order.

on the eating better/exercise front, i have once again started on the body for life bandwagon. i don’t intend to turn into a major bodybuilder, but i know that i want to have muscle. and i also don’t want to end up like some cardio bunny who spends three hours at aerobic activity but who has no muscle tone. (there’s a lady like that at the community center, a pert and perky 90 pound-soaking-wet lady who probably lives in fear when it gets windy out; every day i am there, you can find her walking around the track, walking and walking and walking.)

there are two areas of weights at the community center. one is the area for the regular people, i like to think. it’s loaded more with weight machines, although there’s a row of free weights and one lonely bench. you usually find seniors here, along with most of the women who deign to use weights. in an enclosed glass area, you’ll find the grunt area, loaded with mostly men (like arlington firefighters, for example), many of whom i think i’d be scared of in other circumstances. lots of free weights, barbells, benches, and truly heavy-duty machines where you have to actually load the weights onto the bar.

today, i hung out in the latter. there was one other woman there, a hardcore lifter. the rest were all guys. now you have to ask yourself what these guys are doing here at 10:00 a.m. on a wednesday morning, but that’s a whole other issue for another time, i’m sure. i had my BFL book and was trying to follow the different lifts when i noticed people occasionally looking at me, like i was some sort of dancing dog. it was weird (to say the least), but i persisted. i’m going back there tomorrow, even though i worked my arms so hard today, they already feel like jello. i’ll focus on my legs and abdomen.

sleeping more is a challenge. i never get to bed early — there are always 56,000 things to do before i go to bed. and i always wake up at 6 because that’s when BS’s alarm goes off; and anyway, i have to get jools ready for school at 6:30, latest. maybe i will buy a giant neon sign to hang over my kitchen which goes off, alarm-like, at 9 pm. GO TO BED it will flash. and i won’t be able to ignore it (like the dirty dishes.)

now, the patience and calm part? you got me there. it’s pretty damn hard as a parent to do so, i can tell you. there’s always something to worry about (is my child learning to IM people on the internet? is my child spitting at his teacher? is my child currently visible on a post office wanted poster?). when the kids are alright, there’s always something to worry about regarding the house, especially considering that my masters is not in housekeeping or maintenance. and, if all else fails and there’s nothing wrong with the kids or the house, i can always worry about world affairs. (i’m still reeling over the assassination of benazir bhutto. obviously, i am not happy that pakistan is in an uproar; but the jewish mother in me wonders how bhutto’s children and husband are handling things.  in short, i want to bring them some soup.)

if anyone has bright ideas regarding steps i can take to achieve my own private nirvana, i am all ears. until then, a girl can dream, i suppose. assuming she gets to sleep, that is.

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4 Responses to “dreaming is free”

  1. Hey, while we’re on the topic of self-improvement, let’s resolve to ditch the fams for some girl-time more often.

  2. OH wow – the stick thin mama who walks and walks and walks..you described a gal who lives around the corner *perfectly*!! I nicknamed her Barbie 🙂 She’s a love, but it’s frightening how much she walks – up and out by 5:30am and goes about 5 miles an hour – EASY. I’ve tried walking with her and she nearly killed me!
    I’m trying to mix things up too. 30mins or aerobics at a minimum but also have some hand weights, and now my pedaling machine arrived and I can pedal with my legs or arms so it mixes things up. I used to be a member at Curves for about 4 years and I LOVED it, but ran out of time and finally dropped it to save the money last year. I’m hoping to create a balanced workout routine on my own this year.
    Oh, and I need that alarm clock too – clearly – I should have been in bed at 10:00 – and instead I am reading blogs 🙂

  3. ladies night — yep. lets start with the goal of once every two months. i think i can do that without BS getting stressed out 😉

    mamabird — where did you FIND that clock? omg, it terrifies me, as my entire account would end up elsewhere (well, at least to a good cause, lol.) what a find!

    and tp — good luck on the routine. my arms are aching from my upper body workout yesterday. and of course, jools wanted to be picked up this morning. ow! i need to work on this!

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