shadow of a doubt

i’m getting material together to hopefully present at the first DC mortified show next month. (a friend of mine emailed me and told me about this. considering i kept copious journals throughout most of high school, i have a lot of fodder for such an enterprise.) after my first “audition,” i got some great and enthusiastic feedback. they were interested in certain threads of my teenaged life. of course, i’m not sure i want to go too deeply into one thread (one old but significant boyfriend), and i’m thinking more about another (about a less significant but terribly sad/funny boyfriend).

anyway, i met with one of the organizers yesterday to talk about what i’d found. after going through it all, i’m beginning to get a clearer picture of who i was as a teen, something which totally eluded me at the time. she’s really interested in my trying to glean from it all more about me — what i was feeling, who i was, why i was like that. i was pretty self-aware (although pretty clueless about why) at the time, so i’m digging it all up now. it’s sort of like self-analysis, and i can’t wait until a quiet moment hits and i have that aha! moment when i realize why i am like what i am today, based on my life as a teen.

but as i think about myself as a teen, it becomes incredibly clear what i wanted to be: a complex kid. i must have internalized tom petty in a big way. unfortunately, i think i hit a point where i was so complicated, i lost my own plot. some of the poetry i wrote back then completely baffles me.

and then i simplified, met BS, and the rest, as they say, is history 😉

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3 Responses to “shadow of a doubt”

  1. Oh awesome! If you do Mortified, I’m totally going.

  2. Good luck! You’re a very brave soul. I would be Mortified to read any of my teenage angst, although, yeh, it would be interesting to see if it’s affected who I am today.

    Congrats!

  3. notdancingqueen Says:

    I can’t even look at my high school journals, let alone read them to people! The old-bit-significant-boyfriend thread…yeah, that’s better suited to some beer, a room at Disneyworld, and some strung out parents… 😉

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