professional patient

another day, another scan. i can safely say that if someone clever at washington radiology had a little too much to drink and perhaps a little more time on his hands, he could have fun piecing together various body parts of mine which have been scanned over the past year and a half, thanks to my illness. i suspect that one night, BS will wake up and see my body, bright in the darkness, beside him. i suppose it would be a way to earn extra money (come see the freaky-ass mom who glows in the dark!) and hell, it will make it easy for the cars to see me and my kids come halloween night!

last week’s scan of my abdomen showed i have either a little gallstone or a polyp. joy. my doctor isn’t convinced that something that small is causing my discomfort — he’s wondering if something else is causing me pain. (like i even want to find out.) today, i had to get a scan of my chest (no, not a mammogram — although that’s overdue for this year, too) to see whether those fun little nodules i have in my lungs stayed put, or whether they’ve decided to do something crazy (like form a third political party).

it was one of the radiology tech’s first day at work today, so i had to explain why i was getting today’s CT chest scan. how people with CVID often get infections and fun things show up on chest and sinus scans because of it. its the same reason, essentially, why i get to have my very first endoscopy later this week. (can you say higher incidence of stomach cancer?) boy, there’s nothing more fun than having a tube down your throat. oh, wait. there is. having an endoscopy AND a colonoscopy at the same time. now THAT’S got to be more fun than humans ought to be allowed to have.

i can’t wait for september to be over. i scheduled all my fun things — plus some more IVIG goodness next week — this month. next month, i want a new challenge. something really scary, not like this life-threatening illness crap.

i think i’ll take up skydiving, though photocopying my ass seems equally dangerous and more in order.

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2 Responses to “professional patient”

  1. Dooooood, that suuuuuuucks.

    I can’t wait for September to be over, either. Let’s celebrate when it is. In fact, all of 2007 can pretty much kiss my @$$.

  2. i’m telling you one word: mojitos.

    you’re driving. hell, let’s invite the big Nylon and my friend jaxx. she can drive. i’ll throw weight watchers points to the wind.

    start looking at sat nites in oct.

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