today in the world of health

today i had a double-header, so to speak.

first up: the hematologist. i go every two months now to get my platelets checked. they have been going down slowly, though they’re still in a normal range (170 for you trivia fans who might remember the days when i was at 2. you can tell when it happened, too, as i didn’t post a hell of a lot in february or march 2006, did i?) of course, i am a little frustrated, as no one in particular seems to be driving my treatment train, so to speak. i absolutely lovelovelove my hematologist (even if he does root for cleveland — just kidding, doc!), but he was unable to procure my IVIG. he had a friend, a very wonderful infectious diseases doctor, who can and does give me my IVIG. i have seen her once. otherwise, i see her nurses every six weeks. but i have not yet received my trough levels; my hematologist never received my trough levels; and no one seems to want to talk to me about whether every 6 weeks is sufficient or whether i need to move it up to 4. maybe it’s too early to tell, but it would be nice if someone out there told me that rather than allow me to guess ineffectually.

the nice part of going to the hematologist’s office is that the staff, from the receptionist to the physician’s assistant to the phlebotomy staff to even the doctor himself (who wasn’t scheduled to see me today but was so wonderful to ask me how i was — i saw him glance at my tell-tale yellow sheet of paper to make sure i hadn’t dipped into scary numerical areas) treat me so wonderfully, like a returning hero. these are people who had to re-admit me into the hospital and send me to the ER yet another time. they are the people who were there the day i had my bone marrow test. they remember what i looked like during the height of my steroids. and, while i’m no kate moss, i look a bit better now. my reception is often akin to that of the bowl america commercials — where everybody cheers. they’re cheering because it’s at least one patient there who seems to be doing ok.

and ok, when you’re in hematology/oncology, is pretty fucking good.

but wait. there’s more.

part two of my day: my dinner with andre.

(oops, wrong day.)

actually, my appointment with the knee surgeon. when we last left our hero, she was hitting physical therapy twice a week, incurring the wrath of hellboy (who often missed his day home with me because i simply cannot bring him to a place where he can end up with a weight machine for a necktie). and last week, the staff nearly lynched me because: a) i broke the game boy (i’ll ‘splain in a sec), and b) i broke the cybex tester.

now, the game boy has a real name, but i just like to call it NAZI ELECTROCUTION MACHINE FROM HELL because it’s a little palm-sized zapper that is supposedly helping to re-educate my quads. to say i hate this thing would be an understatement, sort of like saying george bush is a bad president. but every week, i have to sit there and literally zap myself 25 times (with a 10-second rest period between each 10 second zapping session). i’m firing myself up, though i would prefer doing that with a mojito, if only someone would ask me.

but i digress.

anyway, i went to use it last tuesday and ZZZZZP. the damn thing died. it’s like it looked at me and decided to go to that great physical therapy carnival in the sky. the therapist, who knows i curse this thing night and day, was quite sure i put a spell on it. i got the look, the one that says i hope blue cross blue shield picks up this tab, missy.

so then thursday, i had to take my cybex test. i think it’s officially thought of as isokinetic (cybex) strength testing and exercise. you call it corn, i call it pain. 3rd photo down on the right (once you click on the our facility link, since it’s built in antediluvian frames!) for you hardcore people who just have to know. only, too bad for me. some knobby thing on it has decided to give up the ghost. oops!

i’m dead certain that the office manager thinks i willed it to break.

so back to my friend, the surgeon. he told me i can come back in six weeks to take the cybex test again. and i’ve been let out of PT for good behavior as long as i promise to go workout with weights 3-4 days/week. someplace else.

maybe they just want to protect the machines?


4 Responses to “today in the world of health”

  1. I think we need to train you to use your powers for good, not evil! Report to X-Men HQ ASAP.

  2. do i get to wear a kick-ass costume?

  3. You get your choice of blue and yellow spandex or black leather

  4. ooh, honey. only if you do, too 😉

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