oh, my nose!

with no apologies to marcia brady whatsoever.

yesterday, as hellboy was waking up from his nap, i came over to tell him that BS had put up a tree for christmas and that we were going to go and visit santa’s helper at the mall. we celebrate chanukah in this house, but we also help BS celebrate christmas, too, in a very secular way. (we’re probably more religious than he is.) he was so excited that he accidentally head-butted me in the nose. in short, i think my nose is broken. it hurt so damn bad that i was convulsed in tears for a solid two minutes. “go get daddy!” i told him. he bent over and kissed my head, which of course made me cry more because he was so sweet. “it was an accident – i know you didn’t mean it. go get daddy!”

eventually, he toddled off. i heard muffled voices, then i heard BC walk over and shout, “mommy’s crying, daddy!” yep. i’m sure in about 10 minutes time, jools would have worked his way over to “mama is hurt,” but no matter. BS, in an effort to keep order, told the kids to sit on the couch and watch TV. he assessed my nose in about 5 seconds, went away, and threw a bag of peas over, then promptly left to watch the kids or something.

so there i sat, holding a bag of frozen peas on my nose. not very dignified, huh. i eventually came out of there, blew some of the blood out of my nose (yes, i get prettier as this goes on), and looked at my husband for some sympathy. of course, at this point, he was knee-deep in christmas lights, which only means one thing: stay the hell away from BS. i tell him every year to just get a new set and avoid frustration — it is worth the $20 not to have him bark at all of us because the light in the very middle is out and taking all the other lights out with it. but no. so i sat with my kids, who were very sweet. jools was sad that he had hurt me, and so i of course went into “i’m really ok” mode. (a day later and my nose still hurts.)

so if anyone wonders why the hell i don’t care for christmas, you can put this down as one more reason. christmas is freaking hazardous to your health 😉


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