one day, i’ll get us kicked out of elementary school


last week, i had a terrible head cold. i was barely functional. but i had to bring my kids to school, regardless of my health status. i was standing on line, barely conscious, when my friend richard – wow a friend with a URL! came along. his daughter attends the same school as BC. all he did was say, “how are you feeling?”

knee-jerk response that flew out of my mouth: “i feel like shit.” i turn around to see BC’s second-grade teacher make a sour face at me. uh oh. i’m in trouble. i asked richard if i was really loud, as i am not really sure i can hear so well, being stuffed up and all. he replied it was no big deal. but later, when i spoke with BC’s teacher about another matter, she made a weird face at me.

so i resolved to not become known as the potty-mouth mom from hell.

only, i didn’t count on a transformer blowing out the power while i was in the front office today. see, the secretary had just asked me what i needed, and as i opened my mouth to speak, a huge boom erupted and knocked all the power out. out came the principal, the vice-principal, and everyone and their dog. one of the PE teachers came running in and said she had seen sparks on the pole outside one of the teacher’s homes and lines down. i had the sudden realization that i had parked exactly under that pole.

“crap!” i blurted. the principal gave me a look. i apologized, but she didn’t seem to hear me.

thank goodness we have a “do as i say, not as i do” sort of parenting style around here. BC tries to coach me on not cursing. she has instructed me to call people “donkey drivers” instead of alternate animal names. but it hasn’t caught on yet.

it’s hard to break old %#^$^^%$^@ habits.


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