death and friends

well, you can’t exactly start humming uplifting tunes with a subject like that, can you.

two colleagues of mine lost fathers/stepfathers this week, one last night. one is a colleague who i really particularly have grown fond of over the past few months. i feel pretty terrible for him – his dad was very ill for a long time, and the measures taken to help him only made things worse due to inept caregivers. while i imagine my colleague is relieved on some level to not have to handle the stress of really poor care for his dad, i am quite sure there is a bit of grieving going on. as i have only known this person for about 6 months, i wouldn’t dream of imposing myself into the situation. i want to be respectful. i want to be thoughtful. i just wish there was something i could do. death makes us all realize how futile our efforts can be at times. our efforts to comfort can never truly match the efforts of time.

it makes me realize on a certain level, though, how fortunate i have been to once again find a group of people who i get to spend each day arguing with, laughing with, and really enjoying. i even have a great team who amaze me most days with their sense of humor, their terrific work, and just their plain kindness. (not to mention their tolerance for my off sense of humor. at least i don’t get the david brent award. yet.) i have been lucky, over the years, to mostly find funny, warm, and intelligent people in my immediate work circles. sure, there are those who i didn’t click with – that is just inevitable. you can’t like everyone, and not everyone will like you. once you get over that, it’s all gravy. i mean, shoot, i am actually still friends with most of my former supervisors! and not because i kiss up, either. i have never been very good at that, and i frankly don’t need to do that, even if i could. it isn’t my style, which probably is why there are a few folks out there who are not terribly fond of me. oh well.

anyway, i am even boring myself at this point. i guess i am feeling a bit somber. i guess death isn’t something i really enjoy talking about. maybe woody allen can make a career out of it. but i don’t think i can. not today, anyway.


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