grammys is not your grandma; its the grammys.

i am still watching the grammys, which i have taped on my VCR. thus, i do not have full comments to it. my best pal murph wrote a wonderful e-mail on the topic, and if she allows me, i will post it here. in the meantime, tho, here is my response to her e-mail, for your reading pleasure.

my husband taped the proceedings, and i am slowly, but surely, plowing through. sadly, i missed simon and garfunkel reunited thanks to the fact that BS forgot to start the tape at the beginning of the ceremony; i would have liked the drama of wondering whether artie would poke paul's eyes out. i haven't gotten to the one thing i am looking forward to, the bruce/elvis/dave grohl tribute to joe strummer – i am saving that until my beloved spouse can break away from class to watch it with me.

i imagine it is difficult to manage the sound at an event where you have to go through a billion different set-ups on stage. nevertheless, i am quite appalled at the crappy sound, the terrible mixes, that i witnessed thus far. what i marvel at even more is the fact that some of the PRESENTERS are even miked poorly. granted, robin williams just started his extemporaneous rant sans mike, but still – when handed a mike, he sounded EVEN WORSE. how is that possible? i used to work shows like this, albeit slightly smaller venues, but even so: presenters are not difficult to mike.

i admit i cried during the bee gees' speech. i wasn't merely crying, however, because of the fact that maurice gibb is gone (although that is sad and i will not make fun of it.) i cried because they had NSYNC cover Bee Gees works. now, laugh if you will – and we probably have disagreed over this one for years, you and i, murph – but i just adore old Bee Gees material. “to love somebody” is one of the best pining-away-for-the-fjords song i know. and finally, almost 30 years after the fact, i am willing to admit publicly that the guitar riff in “staying alive” is absolutely incredible. to have NSYNC even go NEAR any of these songs was too much for me to bear. fast forward, please.

faith hill. sadly, i heard that. she was actually terribly, horribly off (i think my baby went berserk when he heard it, as he started kicking my insides as if to say, “mommy, please, PLEASE make that noise stop!!” poor thing, he is now at a stage of development where he can hear things outside the womb. i imagine he is compiling a list of the terrible injuries i provided to him while in utero, and listening to faith hill AND those @#$%#$% opportunistic and annoying dixie chicks will be near the top of the list, i fear.) and if her gold dress had been any shorter, i could be making a very, very off-color joke about her starring in a new james bond flick, a cross between Goldfinger and Octopussy. and, as a nice MOT girl, i will leave that at that.

some random thoughts.
1) if avril lavigne is considered punk, then what would that make black flag? (and who would you rather have on your side in a dark alley?)
2) does erikah badu realize that, in the scheme of musical history, she is less than the speck on the hemmorhoid of the amoeba compared to BB King, who is the friggin horse upon which said amoeba rides? bless his gracious heart. if i had been BB, i think i would have taken lucille and el kabonged ms badu's ass.
3) WARNING: Girly moment ahead. gosh, dave grohl is cuuuute. why the HELL does he have to have that chick, i think her name was jordan, on his arm? and why did he have to tell the world that he wrote the entire album about her? eek. jordan is simply not muse material. meow. Okay: Girly moment over.
4) why, oh WHY do i suspend my belief, year after year, wondering whether the grammys will actually be awarded to those who earned them that year? kinda sorta like charlie brown, running up to that damn football again, only to have lucy pull it.

ahh, bruce. even he sounded off to me. and you know i worship at the altar to bruce, jersey shore girl that i am. i would listen to him, off or on, so i guess you cannot really go by me on that one. i would probably extend that courtesy to very few others, namely sir paul, elvis the c, and pete townshend. hopefully, the tribute to strummer will make it all right. but you know, i looked out at the sea of talent (!) in the audience. i kept thinking, ok, when will peter gabriel play? when will my man elvis the c get a solo shot? why oh WHY do i have to even consider eminem an artist? and why does that one song by vanessa carlton that sounds like the bridge in a bad (is this redundant?) Lifetime movie keep getting nominated?

so many questions. so little pepcid-AC.

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