my big, fat walt disney world vacation. part 2.

you didn’t think i was done yet, did you?

after surviving our trip on amtrak’s autotrain (which was actually a positive experience save for some of our fellow passengers), we made our way to walt disney world. because there were specific places where we wanted to dine while there, like boma (although it wasn’t quite as much fun without my pal jaxx and her daughter beans along like last time), we signed up for the disney meal plan; it just ended up a more cost effective proposition.

the disney meal plan at this time gives you one sit-down meal, one counter service meal, and one snack per day, tip and tax inclusive. considering how expensive walt’s food is, it’s a good deal unless you’re willing to travel off-grounds. (so good a deal, i think, that they will be altering the plan next year and not including tip. at least.) we brought in milk and cereal for breakfast and basically ate lunch, dinner, and the snack (though we ended up losing a few meals in the end.) unfortunately, this results in a boatload of food if you’re not careful. and while i think i walked a thousand miles while there (which is why i didn’t gain weight in the end), i felt like the hindenberg much of the time because the food is so caloric.

despite my attempts to eat plenty of veggies and salad, i started to feel like i had gained a thousand pounds while at the park. i wasn’t feeling my best. i wasn’t happy at the happiest place on earth, and i guess it showed. mama, BC said, don’t worry. you’re not fat. have you seen some of the people here?

while my beloved child was being kind to me (a year on steroids and two babies and i’m not exactly twiggy), she did make me realize something: compared to a lot, and i do mean a lot of my fellow americans, i am not hefty. well, i am hefty, but the people we saw this week were in a class by themselves. we all read about the epidemic of obesity in this country; but this past week, i experienced it up close and personal. realize that i am in no position whatsoever to throw stones. i love people who are shaped small, large, and in-between. further, not only are plenty of people i love on the large side, but i’m not remotely close to being thin. repeat: i am pretty damn huge. but i’m in a different league than a lot of the folks i saw. it’s like a comedian i saw once said: there’s large, extra large, and oh my G-d, it’s coming toward us!

hell, it’s a small world is getting rehabbed because our asses are too big to sit in the damn boats.

the connection i made was with the amount of strollers i saw. there were 20 year old kids being pushed in supersized, double-wide rented strollers. okay, okay, maybe i’m going a little over the top here. they weren’t 20. but kids BC’s age in strollers? damn, we don’t even let jools sit in a stroller. if you’re old enough to go to disney, you’re old enough to walk (unless, of course, you’re infirm. i get that. i really do.) now i agree, that’s a lot of walking for little legs. and there are times when we’ve had to pick jools up and give him a shoulder ride because either he simply wasn’t keeping up OR because the crowd was so tremendous, we were afraid he’d get trampled. OR we altered our plans a little for a rest period. but still. people were pushing old kids around. my parents didn’t keep us in strollers; we don’t keep our kids in strollers. i’m surprised and curious to find out why elementary school aged children needed to be pushed around.

while i’m ranting on the subject, i especially love when people try to put those strollers in the craziest situations. you’re supposed to fold them up before getting on the tram to the parking lot. there are rides where you simply must park the stroller because there’s simply not enough room for the thing on the queue. and G-d knows you’re not supposed to put a stroller on an escalator. yet those stupid people whom G-d must dearly love, yes, yeah verily, they are alive, well, and visiting orlando. in droves. with children who are old enough to not need those contraptions. someone needs to photograph each kid in the stroller (just like they do for people running red lights in DC) and then threaten to show said photo to all of junior’s friends back in podunk, USA.

that’ll get junior’s ass walking.

7 Responses to “my big, fat walt disney world vacation. part 2.”

  1. oh my G-d, it’s coming toeward us!

    BWAhahahahaha! Okay, I’m bad. But the big-bottom-swing does make me laugh. We Americans are uggggly as a species. And kids? tweens in strollers? That’s too much.

  2. it was surreal. in short, i think living in this area has spoiled me. i don’t think i can live anywhere too far from an east- or west-coast metro area anymore.

  3. WOW! It’s like another planet. Muy interesante.

  4. oh my, hilarious! i loved the whole series on visiting the magic kingdom, especially as we recently visited the left coast version ourselves.

    but yeah, it’s a little frightening just how enormous some of our fellow americans are.

    and you’ve touched upon personal pet peeve #507,821,450…big kids in strollers meant for little ones. back in the day when i was 7 years old (and walked to school uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes on), i skipped all over disneyworld on the adrenaline high from sugary funnel cake fumes like i was supposed to. i think today’s kids could do the same. maybe they’d be a little less hugemongous as adults if they did?

    in a weird way this connects to the seniors driving SUVs too. what happened to walking, and having a normal sized car?

    deary me. america on parade. it’s a sight.

  5. Well, we love Disney. We own a time share near there and we try to do every three years or so. Anyway, last time, my eldest was a month less than 5, my middle son was 3 1/2, and the baby was 2 1/2 months. Now you might think we were crazy taking a 2 month old to disney, but it is actually quite easy and obviously she was in a stroller. But we did rent their double stroller. We knew we were going to get one for my 3 yo because, although he could walk at this point, his walking was not up to par yet (all of my kids were late walkers). We decided to spend the extra few dollars on the double because we knew it was save us grief from my eldest. He did not ride in it all the time, but the option was there, and I think it is what made the visit so great for everyone (and when I finally redo my website, there will be photos there).

    Phil

  6. [...] path. i’ve hit everything from explaining homosexuality to a nine year old to ranting about kids who are waaay too old to sit in strollers at walt disney world. it’s probably not as consistent as, say, a blog that sticks to parenting topics. a travel [...]

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